


Reluctant

by zarabithia



Category: Captain America (Comics)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-08
Updated: 2008-09-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 18:59:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1754681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarabithia/pseuds/zarabithia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky's never liked to kill, but he dislikes it even more now than he did during the War.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reluctant

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during Brubaker's run, after Steve's death.

Killing was something they'd both had to do during the war. Neither had enjoyed it, and Bucky knew that it had hurt Steve far more than it hurt him. 

Was it any wonder that the Russians had been able to mold him into doing their bidding so easily? Part of him had always been the man they'd made him into, after all, and Bucky knew that - no matter how much Sam might argue to the contrary.

But yet, though it had always disgusted and broken Steve far more than it had Bucky, it had been Steve who had nonetheless held him after battle, soothing away the guilt that Bucky felt with each throat he'd sliced, each bullet he'd fired.

That it had been a war did not make the taking of life any easier, Steve would whisper to him, a warm, friendly hand on his back around the camp fire. On the better nights, the hand had been resting on naked skin instead of Bucky's uniform. 

It was because of those nights, whether round the campfire or beneath standard issue bedding, that Bucky has a harder time firing a gun these days. Every pull of the trigger made Bucky remember the warmth of Steve's breath against his ear as he whispered and made him ache all the more for the feel of Steve's hand on his back.

He still carried the gun, a permanent reminder that he'll never be as pure or good as the Captain America that came before him. But every bullet was a last resort. 

Bucky was well aware that his reluctance was ridiculous. After all, the world he came back to was every bit as awful as the one he and Steve fought in all those years ago.


End file.
